Girl Talk

Guys talk about things.
Girls talk about people.

We ate Chinese take-out at a friends' house tonight with four married couples (minus one husband). I had the privilege (?) of sitting with the guys during dessert. I mainly sat there listening and observing about subjects such as the Wright Amendment, Judicial Nominees and filibusters, stem-cell research, and the recently passed Transportation Budget. These are topics which require some level of knowledge for the conversationalists to discuss them.

I have almost always thought the male discussion was more interesting than the female one at events like this, especially when social unwritten rules don't usually allow one female to sit at the guys' table while all the other girls are in a totally different room.

And believe me when I tell you that most likely the girls in the kitchen tonight were talking about how this friend or that friend are doing or how Marci's baby shower was or how their own job is going. Not that these aren't good things to talk about, don't get me wrong, especially if the girls are being honest and transparent with one another, they're just interesting for a different reason.

But as we were driving home, I realized that the main difference, once you boil it all down, is that guys talk about things, and girls talk about people. It's not an earth-shattering observation, and I suppose I've always known it, I've just never crystallized it with words.

What NOT to Do

I've just reviewed my fall schedule and decided NOT to do a couple of things. The two things are very valid, constructive things (a home pre-school class for Abraham once a week and a weekly women's Bible Study) in and of themselves. However, doing one or both of them was going to make each week so busy that the peace and comfort of our home life would have to be sacrificed. The following are some thoughts that have been swirling in my head over the last couple of days.

1. Submission brings freedom. I say this because after 6 years of marriage, I am finally learning to say to people that ask me to do something, "I need to talk to my husband about that." And I don't automatically say "YES! I'll do that." and get myself committed before I've even thought it through. And then when I talk to Philip about whatever it is, he has wisdom and a different perspective on the decision to add to my thoughts and decision-making. And since we have made the decision together, I know it is the best for our family and I have had complete peace in my heart and mind over the decision. And to me that equals freedom.

2. Stay-at-home Moms are still expected (by the world and the church) to have a full schedule (we just don't get paid for it). This one's been building in me for a while now as I am constantly asked by the church or church members to do this or that. I was really struck by one mom when I was calling to recruit people to volunteer for VBS this summer and she exclaimed, "Who told them I was staying at home now?!" She was half-kidding, but the truth is that stay-at-home moms are carrion for the volunteer-seeking vultures. And we are "supposed" to fill up our babies' schedules with music classes, swimming lessons, play dates, and special trips to the zoo and the park on a daily basis.

3. My children are very small and I am busy enough just being here taking care of them. Let's just say eat, sleep, and poop. :-)

4. One day, I'll HAVE to do all the running around, I don't HAVE to do that now. I think this thought was from God. One of my reasonings for doing the pre-school for Abraham was to prepare me for home-schooling one day in the not-too-distant future. I thought this would help me have discipline and get more in the mindset for educating my children formally. But as I was praying about this decision, a quiet voice said, "But you don't have to do that now. You will have to do it later."

I have been so relieved since I made the decision to not do more outside of my home. Of course, I do have some things that get me out of the house so we don't get cabin fever, but it won't be so much that I will be running around and stressed out all the time. After all, my sweet children are growing fast and I want to take time to enjoy laughing, singing, playing, and teaching them every single day.

My Sweet Little Fish

I took Abraham and Rachel swimming today at MeeMaw's (Philip's parent's) house with my friend, Jennifer, and her niece, Natalie. Rachel doesn't mind the water and enjoys splashing her hands in it. She's not crazy about being dropped into the water and going under. She sort of makes a funny face and blinks the water out of her eyes and just tolerates it. She enjoys playing with the duck feet on her swimsuit (they are sewn on at the top of the duck's legs so the legs and feet dangle and float in the water) while floating on her back. I love her squeals of laughter when something strikes her as funny. She has a delightful smile and is very generous with it.

Abraham is crazy about the water. The first few times of swimming this summer, he just giggled with delight as soon as he got near the pool. He loves to go under the water and swims 5 to 7 feet while holding his breath. When he is swimming, he sticks his tongue out and curls it up toward his nose. Then when I bring him up for air, he hardly takes a breath and is going down into the water again for another trip to MeeMaw or the pool wall. We have had to make him say, "Here I come!" before he slides into the water to swim because he is so fearless.

It has been very interesting to see the difference between fear and caution. Abraham has always been cautious...he will slow down and carefully walk over a storm grate in the sidewalk or down the steps. He was a late walker and I'm convinced it is because he wanted to be careful and not fall down (too much). And even when jumping into the water from the side of the pool, he is cautious. At first, he would sit down and then sort of slink into the water. He has graduated to sort of falling off the edge rather than jumping (he doesn't quite have that concept down yet), but he is cautious about how he goes in. He is no kamikaze toddler--running into walls and falling down stairs. And yet his caution is not produced by fear. He is clearly not afraid of the water, but he's cautious about how he jumps into the water. And as he's grown more confident in it, we've had to teach him to exercise more caution before going under to swim. I am so proud of my precious little fishies and they are sooo much fun!

Parental Realities

If you read my husband's blog, you already know he took me on a date tonight. It was great to spend some time alone with him, but what he didn't tell you is that between dinner and Starbucks, we stopped at Target to buy diapers for Rachel. We both had to laugh at how much our life has changed in the last 2 years. It is a good change, don't get me wrong. I often wonder what we laughed at and what we did with our time before. Now, I'm going to bed before Rachel wakes me up for her latenight snack.

My First Blog

Well, I've been thinking about starting one of these for a while now, so here goes. This blogging thing is a very interesting phenomenon. People share much more of themselves on here than they do in a conversation on the sidewalk in Wilmore. So I'll be exploring in my own mind where the line is...if there is a line, and you know there is.